omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
