1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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