what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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