'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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