Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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