I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
