Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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