Can Purell be used as lube?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
