He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
