I look better un-naked...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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