Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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