I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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