i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
