I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize