Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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