I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
