Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
