You really coming over, don't trick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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