sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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