I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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