god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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