There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize