I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
