i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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