im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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