He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize