so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
