Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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