But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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