Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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