i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
