doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
