i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sorry about my life...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
