I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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