I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
