Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
