i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
