Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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