The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
