is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
