Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
