I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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