nutella sex= disaster
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I could fuck to npr.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
