He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We are two peas in an std pod
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
