I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
