I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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