addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
