She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
