I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
love makes seman taste better
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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