Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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