i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
