We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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