i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
