She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
