38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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