when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
