every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
