If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
