I puked a lego.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
is that a dick in a sweater?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
