He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
