It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
